“People with dementia are doing the best they can,’ Snow explained. “It’s not a choice anymore. It’s the disease.”

   Snow was the keynote speaker for a sold-out conference Aug. 24 at the historic General Morgan Inn. Sponsored by Takoma Adventist Hospital, the day-long conference was titled “Do You Really Know Me?”

   Snow is an occupational therapist who is education director and lead trainer for the Eastern North Carolina Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. She also is a counseling associate for the Duke University School of Nursing, with more than 25 years of experience in the field of geriatrics.

   Snow – who personally dealt with Alzheimer’s through the decline of her mother-in-law and grandparents – offered many helpful tips on how to see life through the patient’s eyes. “Dementia is brain failure,” she said. “The patient’s brain is dying. Remember that when they don’t make sense to you anymore. It’s not them. It’s the disease.”

   Here are a few other thoughts:

   ·  It takes two to tango…or tangle -- “We have an option; they don’t,” Snow pointed out. “Remember, it’s the disease. You don’t have to argue with them.”

   ·  Forget about being right – “Dementia patients remember emotions and feelings without remembering facts,” Snow noted. “They make up reasons to go along with what they do remember. Let them be right, whether they are or not.”

   ·  Remember to laugh -- “Learn to laugh or you won’t make it,” Snow stressed. “I don’t mean laugh at the person, but laugh at the circumstances. Find your humor afterward.”

   ·  Live in the (new) moment – “Give up the notion that things can be the way they used to be,” Snow said. “They can’t and won’t.  Find joy in the good moments you have left.”

   ·  Prepare for a marathon – “Caring for Alzheimer patients is work,” Snow said. “Keep in mind this is a marathon, not a sprint. This disease usually takes 8-12 years to run its course. Spacing and pacing is critical to caregivers. Get help early on, or you won’t last.”

   ·  Focus on the long term – “It’s more important to have a good relationship and happy memories at the end, than to win any one argument,” Snow said. “Let the physicians and nurses be the ‘bad guys.’ Blame things on us. It’s OK.”

   For more information, please contact Takoma’s Center for Behavioral Health at 636-2446. The center, a 12-bed inpatient unit known as “Senior Care,” specializes in the unique mental health needs of those patients 65 and older.

   The hospital also has an outpatient clinic known as Outpatient Behavioral Health, which evaluates and treats those with mood, behavior and memory disorders. For more information on these services, please call 636-0491.

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